So I came home tonight and I got right to it. I am on a mission to stay on task and focused to being productive. Once I get home I have a horrible tendency to sit down and turn on the TV. That never results in anything good normally. So tonight I came home and here’s what I acomplished!
That was far to productive to do every night. I would be considered OCD and and over achiever if I did that every night. So now I need to figure out a happy medium. Some middle ground where I can get certain chores done each night but yet have some down time.
If you have any suggestions leave me a message. Maybe we can expand upon it and make it a blog post.
So I’ve been remiss on posting for a couple of weeks. I joined Weight Watchers and I’ve watched my diet. Last weekend I went to the grocery story and I found that my purchased was 90% produce. I am trying to keep everything out of the kitchen that would be ‘bad’ for me on the ‘diet’. So it’s been a lot of salads, fruit, and new veggie dishes.
So earlier today I went to my Weight Watchers meeting where I weighed in like I do each week. This week I lost another 3 lbs. That’s a total of 8 lbs. It’s a good feeling to know that I’m losing weight.
I’m not seeing the changes yet but I know that it’s going to take time. According to the charts I should lose about 100 lbs. That’s a little more than I can imagine for myself. If I could actually make it that far I think it would be amazing but I think if I take it 1 lbs at a time, I’ll be just fine.
Also I’m gaining my focus and trying to keep the negative out of my life. It’s not easy but I find that I’m getting better at it. I’ve walked for exercise, taking online courses, and reading to help me gain perspective, be positive and feel like I’m being productive.
So this week the weather has been beautiful here in San Francisco. People would complain that it was too hot but after living in New Orleans it was mild. Having sun in my life I find makes a huge difference. I had thought that my vacation would be sun and warm weather but I chose to do something different. I went to Rotterdam (the Netherlands in Europe) and it was cold and kind of dismal. So this past week was a welcomed and pleasant change.
So this week I’m thinking about how I did on the list of 13 Tips to Building Self Esteem. Well #1 start small I’ve done but I don’t think I’m pushing myself that hard. I keep myself busy but that’s a diversion most times. I’ve done it so long I don’t even know I’m doing it now.
This week my action to push my boundaries was to look inside myself to deal with one of my demons. My weight is the demon I decided to shine some light. This week after talking to a therapist we had agreed that I would look into Weight Watchers and minimally see when and where they had meetings. Checking to see when the meetings are held is pretty easy. I’ve done it before and I can do that without allowing it to get too close to me. Protecting the demon or all the feelings of shame and fear. I told the therapist before that I saw the group (Weight Watchers) in the same way that I see a cult or church. Ironically I see churches and cults in the same way.
When I pulled up the list of meetings in the area I saw that there was one in the LGBT Center here in San Francisco. Being gay that made it seem somewhat more “safe”. I found that the meeting was on Saturday morning at 10 AM. Anyone who knows me knows that more than likely I’m not going to have plans at 10 AM. Well maybe going to breakfast but now that’s (eating) part of the problem. To push myself I filled out a form to go to the meeting and made plans to go and check it out. I wasn’t sure what to expect. Emotions ran high and there were wacky visions that crossed my mind. Remember I thought of Weight Watchers as a cult.
So Saturday morning came and I rolled myself out of bed and got ready to go to the meeting. There was anxiety but I pushed forward. I’ve done a lot of things in my life that were ‘uncomfortable’. I’m pleased to say that I didn’t find the meeting to be a cult and I could see that it was a supportive group of people. Previously I’ve never really expected people to be supportive so that a part of the meeting that encourages me. That little voice in my head still spouting negative thoughts but I am pushing it to the side to move forward.
This weeks challenge is to track my eating habits. I’m not very good with this kind of thing. I feel like it’s pointing out faults but it’s not about that at all. I obviously don’t like to have my faults pointed out. Trust you and me I know my faults.
Any suggestions are welcome. Support is definitely welcomed as well.
As Megan McGlover would say “I love you strong, I love you long.” Have a great week everyone.
Why is it that I’m never ready Monday for to come around? Sunday evening comes and I can never believe the weekend has gone and work starts the next day.
For the last two weeks I’ve tried to watch what I’ve eaten and really eat smaller meals or in more moderation. I hadn’t been paying attention much and I was eating lunch out everyday. So now I’ve brought my lunch to work and I’ve eaten 5 or 6 smaller meals a day.
So I starting out another week and I had a little good news this morning. This morning when I got on the scales and in just two weeks I’m down seven pounds. I’m not being strict with my diet but rather just focusing on eating healthier and eating appropriate portion sizes. I’ve pushed myself for a while with the philosophy of shopping on the outer edge of the grocery store. So cutting pack on processed food.
The next big focus will be increasing my physical activity. I’m not much for going to the gym. People ask “don’t you feel great after you go?” The response is “No!” I never get pleasure out of going to the gym. I don’t find it social most of the time and I don’t get any euphoric high from going to the gym. Now in the past I did lose a little weight but the reason I don’t loose more weight is that I don’t push myself physically. Growing up I never got that introduction to physical activity. Even growing up on a farm physical activity was work. Well what kid wants to work? Yeah we would sometimes go walk the farm but that wasn’t a frequent occurrence.
Every year (for the last several years) I’ve said I’m going to get healthy and try to lose the weight. Well I’m trying to do it this year and I’m just doing it one step at a time. So if you have any suggestions please feel free to pass them on through the comment box. I’ll try to keep you updated and who knows maybe I’ll even try to post some pictures as I got through the process. I’m not much for taking pictures of myself so don’t hold your breath but I’ll try.