Judgements made

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So I hadn’t posted anything in a while but I thought I should at least put something out here.  I just read a posting from another blogger asking “Do you think it’s possible that a gay child doesn’t have to come out of the closet?”  My first responses is simply WOW!  I think that would be the most wonderful thing to happen.  It doesn’t just apply to being gay but think of all the stories that are going around about children being bullied.  It’s all about the way people perceive one another.  Unfortunately people are passing judgement all the time about people they see.  They don’t even know the people but they pass judgement.  What does that say about us?  Is it an American attitude or is it simply a human behavior.  

I can’t imagine it’s a human behavior that’s exist no matter the environment you grow up.  We can see that by just examining how people act.  For instance I personally grew up in a family where they were all farmers and blue collar workers. My siblings all live close (distance) to my parents and they are all married and are forming families of their own.  I on the other hand went to college and and looking for work in a white collar world.  I like nice thing, traveling, and new experiences.  I can’t say the same for the other members of my family.

A prior partner (the only one actually) once said to me “I don’t understand how you can be so different your family.”  That’s a great question.  I don’t know how or why but I can tell you that from an early age I promised myself I was going to get out and see the world and do things that other people in my family weren’t doing.  I went to college and that was a deviation from what everyone else did with their lives.  I moved to a large city which is a large deviation from my family.  Being gay/homosexual is only one of many things that are different in my life.  Is it the reason for all other deviations?  Who’s to say?  I just know I’m trying to live a full life.  That being said I also try not to judge others.   I’m sure friends of mine couple point out fault with that statement but I would like to say that I try to be a better person.

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I hear that keeping a diary helps a person.

So I thought I would give this a try.  Who knows if it will help or if people will even find me out here in cyberspace.  I love technology and I thought this would give me a way to do two things at once.  It helps me learn some new technology and lets me spill my guts.  I mean what could be more perfect, right?

So I live in Columbus, Ohio and I’ve lived here pretty much all my life.  I grew up outside of Columbus on a small farm.  It was difficult for a young gay guy to grow up out there but I made do.  I wasn’t well liked and I didn’t have many friends but somehow I had the drive to go on to college and make a better life for myself.  Some of my friends who know where I’ve come from have been amazed at how far in life I’ve come.  There wasn’t any encouragement to go on to college or to follow my love of music.  My parents would have been happy if I would have become a mechanic or even a ditch digger.  I made a choice to become something different or more.  I really made something of nothing.

A few years ago I was offered a job in New Orleans.  I had been asking for a promotion so I could hardly turn it down.  The decision to accept that job ended a three-year relationship.  That was a good thing because it was a relationship that would not withstand the ages.  I was not able to make the emotional connection that I needed and I was starting to become angry and unhappy.  So I accepted the job and picked myself up and moved down to New Orleans.  While there in New Orleans I made some great friends and experienced a who new city.  People were amazed at how easily I made friends and became familiar with New Orleans.

I was extremely lucky to make a friend for life shortly after I moved to New Orleans.  His name was Bob and it was like finding a sister that I had never had.  He was from New Orleans so he knew everything about everything.  He know all the good places to go and things to do almost every weekend.

As I had lived all my life in the Ohio until I moved to New Orleans it was culture shock to say the least.  I did like everything that the city had to offer.  There was amazing art, music, and food.  There were opportunities to experience these things all the time.  Rarely was there a weekend that you couldn’t find one of these things to do.  The people sometimes drove me crazy because it was a different personality than I had ever experienced before.  I tried to just accept it and move forward but it was tough.

After about a year and a half after moving to New Orleans there was another job opening that I thought would be great for my career.  It was a job in the IT department and after spending approximately $20,000 at DeVry University on a second bachelors degree I thought it would be nice to use that education.  So after being offered the job, I accepted the position and moved back to Columbus, Ohio.

After moving back to Columbus I found that it was difficult to reconnect with old friends.  Of course I had been in a relationship before leaving Columbus and so I didn’t have as many close friends as I might have once had.  So over the last 2 years I’ve tried to reconnect with old friends and make new friends.  I found it difficult to say the least.  At the same time I was single and “on the market” again.  Being back in Columbus brought up some old feelings and presented some old problems.  I had always found people here in Columbus difficult to connect with and here I found myself back in the same ole boat.  I was trying to make friends in an environment that I found to be snobbish.

I was able to connect with some old friends and make a few friends.  Sometimes I think it’s good to not have to many friend.  I think true friendship is something rare in life.  To call someone a friend is to have someone who will be there through thick or thin and sometimes considers you family.  Friendships are something I try to value.  I started sending hand written notes to out of town friends a couple months ago to strengthen that bond.  Friendship is something to cherish and I hope that people know that I cherish their friendship.

So now I wonder where life will take me next.  I’m open to new challenges and experiences and I do have a couple things in mind but I’ll save those for another time.  Right now I should get out and enjoy the sun not to mention contacting one of those friends about going out for a drink.