It’s about time to start working on new years resolutions I guess

Sign for the Grumpy Troll pub in Mount Horeb.

So tonight I went to the gym.  Anyone who knows me would never use gym in a sentence when talking about me.  Well unless they say “Eric hates the gym.”  That my friends would be the truest statement that has ever been made about me.  Since after the stroke last year I’ve not really went to the gym.

So I signed up online for the gym.  Then I went to the gym on a Sunday about a month ago.  It wasn’t very busy which is the way I like it.  I’ll put a little plug-in here for the gym I guess.  I’m going to the 24 Hour Fitness at 2145 Market Street.  After pondering whether I should walk around looking for the locker room I broke down and asked where the locker room was after walking into the gym.  The guy at the front desk offered to give me a tour.  I respectfully decline so I didn’t have to deal with any salesmanship that he may feel obligated to do.

So I make my way to the locker room, change my clothes, and as I’m getting to go out to the gym floor.  Right there before me is a guy that is practically model beautiful.  Of course all the negative baggage from my childhood years come rushing forward.  I say that because I can’t imagine anyone that looks like that would even talk to me.  (I was and probably always will be the last one picked for group activities.)  So I make my way to the gym floor, find a stationary bike and start to peddle.  Shortly afterwards a guy walks up to use this rowing machine sitting next to me.  I try to just zone about but then I my mind drifts to this place were you kind of hope that he’s picked that because he’s interested in you.  Now that’s all well and good EXCEPT recently people are attracted to me because I’m fat.  Not because I have pretty eyes, nice smile, witty laugh, or I’m a well-rounded (no pun intended) person. For a second I’m OK with that … he was tall and handsome.  I mean shouldn’t I be flattered that he’s attracted to me, even if I am fat?

Well as you can imagine that little fantasy didn’t last long.  Then I remember all those times being picked last or having family members call me things like the human garbage disposal.  So then I just try to stop thinking and finish out 30 minutes on the bike.  When I reach that point I go in change my clothes and leave.  I decide to walk home for more exercise.  That may not seem like a big deal but when you live somewhat close to the top of the highest point in the city.  It tends to elevate your heart rate close to a that sweet spot for cardio exercise.

Oh then to do more of my new years resolution I’m writing about it.  Of course I’m complaining but it’s still in a written format so in my opinion I’ve done what I set out to do.  That’s what’s really important isn’t it?

So I wonder what I’ll find to complain about next?  Oh and if you have constructive criticism that you think would help me feel free to send it to me.  I’ll be sure to take it under advisement.  If it’s not constructive it may be just trashed or even the topic of a posting.  It just depends on how my demons are doing that day I guess.